2 Ways to Mess Your Kids up

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Our role as dads is one of the biggest roles we have as men. All men influence like a dad when they mentor others. So in a way, every man acts like a dad at some point in their life.

Dads are one of the most influential factors in their kids' lives and in society as a whole. The relationship with our fathers sets us up for many of the ways we will live our lives.

If you are a dad, you have an incredible amount of influence on your kids. This isn't meant to scare you, it is meant to challenge you.

The challenge is to live as a good influence. That means making choices that help your kids develop as whole and healthy adults. To do this you have to watch out for 2 attitudes that will mess your kids up: Selfishness and Hypocrisy.

Selfishness

• All of us have a tendency to selfishness
• Kids often help us to overcome this
• As men, we can hold onto the attitude "It's all about me!"
• Me Centered Parenting
• Me-centered parenting focuses more on us than our children
• This is selfish because we are telling our kids that our reputation is the most important thing for them to think about
• Healthy dads work to train their kids to own and take responsibility for their own reputation
• Blame Parenting
• Blame parenting is the Dad who always talks about what could have been
• The other side is the "I was "all that" before I got married"
• Kids don't care what you were before you had them
• They want you to be something now for them
• Ignore Parenting
• Ignore parenting isn't an obvious style that men take part it
• How we lie to ourselves and our kids is by saying things like,  "I'm doing this for you...."
• Kids want their dads more than anything else
• We shouldn't accept a life of ignoring our family while saying we are working for them

Hypocrisy

• Hypocrisy for us as men is when our saying and our doing are different
• Outward Hypocrisy
• We all have a bit of outward hypocrisy in all of us
• Outward hypocrisy is another angle of image management
• Outward hypocrisy is about teaching  our kids to protect our reputation, rather than engage with authentic living
• Family Hypocrisy
• Family hypocrisy is when we expect things from our kids that we don't do
• Putting members of the family down in front of others or behind their back
• Not taking responsibility for our actions
• Inward Hypocrisy
• Inward hypocrisy is often the hardest to deal with because it usually involves our own shame
• Kids will figure it out